Thursday, March 31, 2005:
cheerleading is crazy. but i like it.. (: anyway. i think we're gonna lose.. sigh.
lee house's so good.. and
jackson's dance choreo is really cool.. i think.. sigh. they'll prob win hands down..
OLSON! you can do it! rah rah rah..
we're nearly done with the reproduction chapter in bio. today mr tay showed us some really horrid photos of STDs.. it was totally sick. plus feli's "ewws" in the background.. haha. you can just imagine.. its a heavy chapter. not looking forward to the test on it... sighs. so many things to memorise. my head's gonna explode..! but me thinks its a fun fun chapter. hee.
oh yeah. horrible horrible MOE has changed our jc entry system thingy.. YET AGAIN.. sigh. what's with them. can they please make up their minds and please not tell us so last minute? i could have started preparing earlier la. sigh. must have xin1 li3 zun3 bei4 one you know. sigh. and now that prelims are counted again.. means we are gonna get a mock so that makes it an extra test. and now i have school like throughout my whole holidays. die la.. die la. cant even play.. oh rights. i'm not supposed to be thinking about playing eh.
anyway. hurray!!
WE HAVE NO SCHOOL TMR! rejoice rejoice.. but we still have to go to toa payoh for swimming finals.. bleah. so boring. sit down there and waste your time away... not supposed to study or you'll get booked. what.. supposed to cheer. sighh. BORING.
PROMOTION. i'm selling
bittersweet symphony tickets.. any one wants to buy? it's in aid of the st luke's home for the elderly.. and it's on the
15 and 16 of april,
7.30pm at the
mgs auditorium... and we're featuring some of our very own singers (trust me.. they're good.. especially beth. woohoo!) and singapore idol finalist
daphne khoo! (only
on friday tho..) tickets are priced at a
cheap cheap price of only
$15 and
$10.50 (for ground and gallery respectively..) .. so do try to support this fundraising effort kayy? just drop me an email if you wanna buy.. yeah.
krissyanne@gmail.com. wheeee.
ta.. gotta go sleep alr. nightos.
a shout of praise.
10:13 PM
gahh. its free period again... (: yay. man. yesterday was crazy at home.. sigh. today's djw really struck me. cos the pastor was talking abt how this guy wanted to stay in school for the longest time and not go home cos he dint like the environment at home.. yeah. same same i guess. i cant stand it. i know i'm being selfish wanting the whole house to myself. but i cant study. my most productive time is when i'm studying alone. and when i'm revising with my frens, especially math. i dunno. like. why cant every one just leave me alone. yesterday night just proves my point. i closed my door to study. THEn i was interrupted like at least 7 times. shouting, walking into my room several times.. gahh. whats wrong with studying in school. WHO SAYS I'M GALLAVANTING.
you know. i really think. i really really think. that i wont be bothered to come home once i'm working full-time and have a house of my own.. ha. maybe.
okay. back to class now.
a shout of praise.
11:56 AM
ha. this is a quickie. the one time where i get to use the computer at home. i'm checking my mail, clearing my inbox. it's like full to the limit! :s bahh.
anyway. cleared my room today. haha. found alot of junk. yupp. alot of letters too. haha. (: so funny re-reading them. ha. oh well. filed all my worksheets too. there's file checking next week. thank goodness all my worksheets are still intact.
had cheerleading practice today. shujun's house is SO SO cool. it's like a villa or something. wa.. and we learnt half of our dance routine. wahh. the music's super fast. worse than zaki's choreo. hahah. (: but it's funn. and good excercise. practiced for 2.4 today too. ran with nicole.. wah. she runs so slowlyy.. haha. or maybe it's i run too fast for her.. (yeah yeah. i'm so ego.. (: ) haha. so today was so excercisey. i had a whole bar of chocolate to congradulate myself. (:
quicky shoutouts.
oh hi
NICK! hahaha. saw you in the TP magazine! haha. so exciting.. hahha. i never knew you took that course. cool. haha. now i know.. (: yupp.
haha.
drewwyy dear.! hope you had a wonderful birthday! (: lurveeya..
nicole: eh you. better run faster ah. this year its 2.4 not 1.6 already ah.. you better start trainging more.. haha. run run run! (:
everybody else.. HAPPY EaSTER! (:
ta.. better go...
oh yeah. one last thing. i've got a nexw email add..
krissyanne@gmail .com. yupp. you can send to that email ya. i'd actually prefer it. (:
going gone. (:
a shout of praise.
11:52 PM
Thursday, March 24, 2005:
IF I SAY I DONT WANT TO EAT CAN I NOT EAT? THANK YOU! I"M FINE WITH MY ONE BUCK. i really really dont need you guys to treat me everytime. unless i really need to, or i will not need to. jiaen can survive, so can i. (:
the days are passing quickly. chinese prelims are coming.. and laoshi is pressurizing us everytime she sees us in class. gahh. stress. i dont normally practice chinese. only until the day before.. haha. thats always the case. : bwahhhah. oh well..
today's the 24th of march.. its my best bud's b'day! (: wheee.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!haha. yupp. happy birthday happy birthday.. you're 16!! (: yay. we can go watch nc-16 movies legally together already.. YAY! haha. we still havent watched whats that show..? err. haha. cant rmb.. oh well. ow we'll have to wait until the end of the year.. its just study study study for me now. GARRLH. whats the world coming to? : oh. i need to pass you your bday pressie! hahahanyway. that reminds me. LEMONY! i still owe you your present.. and you still owe me MY present.. :D whee. haha. i miss talking to you.. :(
oh well. i think i'd better go. we have SBL later.. garr. and have to write essay or smthg abt him or maybe a short story or anything. bah. not my forte..
a shout of praise.
1:24 PM
ahhh. i think my life in general has improved.
things at home are beginning to settle (i hope) and my grades are slowly rising again (thank you god).
well. the holidays for me were just study study study. goodness. being cooped up at home. there's nothing you can do. ): so. all you can do is just study study study. which is of course what i did. : was good i guess. i think even if i wasnt grounded i'd also be at home anyways. yeah.
the thing i miss the most is my phone.. cant sms a whole lot of people. and i realise how dependent i've grown to my phone.. GAH. like. all my contacts are there. when i need to call someone its so difficult. and i dont memorise. even my dad. i have to ask my bro for it.. ahhh sigh. plus when there's stuff that pple need to tell me, like cheerleading practices.. GOSH. i dont even know what's happening la. : i'm so isolated from the world... *moans*
you know what. i think i shant keep putting up any fronts anymore. people dont realise how crumbly i feel inside about everything. i mean. seriously. some people just infer that i'm feeling a certain way and well. i dont at all. but then again. most of the time i dont feel anything. i'm just as blank and blur as a ce of white paper. hah. what am i talking about. garh.
the bell's gonna ring soon. yay. its time to go home. HAH. what sarcasm. you know what. i like going to school now. it means more time away from home. but then when teachers come in.. i feel dreary again. then i wanna go back home. to the comfort of my bed.. and my mogu. maybe i dont hate home after all. after that one week at home. i've become more attached. i guess what i really dont like is the control. the restrictions that i face when everyone's at home. i like being home alone. but then. i guess someone would call me selfish. again.
i'm a stupid stupid girl that produces such lousy grades, who gave up on her studies, dropped out of school and will become a clerk. i'll prove it to you. even if i stay in singapore i'll get my diploma. and degree. so there.
hah. finally. i've said almost all i wanted to say. dunno when i'll ever use the computer again. hah. we'll see about that. i'll use it in school. so there.
events this week
thursday - hApPy BiRtHdAy KhOoKiE! (: , sophia blackmore lectures! (yay! its some lit thingo thats complusory.. sounds super duper cool.)
Friday - HOLIDAY! (more studying *groans* shuj says we might have cheerleading! (: )
sunday- baptism.. ahh. my dear old brother is getting baptised.. (:
monday - wonderful school. (moans...)
okay. bell rang. gotta rush. home. bahh.
a shout of praise.
1:40 PM
HAHH. i learnt how to play the guitar in one day. :D so pleased with myself. i know what my mom would say about this. play you so good, study you so lousy. why cant you be better at your studies?
dunno. alot of things have happened in the past few days. i know its all been my fault. i have promised to work harder. i mean. i really dont know what's been going on in my life. everything's just so messed up. its hurting too to look at these kind of results that i just wonder what went wrong. i look at it, and i feel discouraged. its not that i havent been studying. i put in some effort. maybe it just doesnt go into my head at all. i hve no idea. i dunno la. maybe i havent been studying as hard as i think i have.
english was a disaster. you know. somethimes you do things that you regret. and you pay the price. with your marks. i think that was a whole period which i decided to slack. i didnt think it was that important. i dunno la. it was stupid of me. i admit.
every thing resulted cos i dint work hard. i guess. i'll work harder. i promise. i'll do all i can from now on. i wanna leave. as fast as possible.
a shout of praise.
12:10 PM
gahhh. better write one more entry.. dunno when's the next time i'll get to use the com.. maybe some time when we go to the lab for eng.. or some free period that we'll get next week.
i realise something.
reading moonie's/minty's blog always makes me laugh. its always the best blog to read when ever i'm feeling sad. she's the weirdest person ever. GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME. i liked the 7-11 entry. so stupid. haha. go read her blog pple. its really amusing.
LEMON! get your phone back please.. i'm dying of boredom.. ):
some shows show the strangest things. like the simple life. who'd wanna watch a show with paris hilton and that nicole person (richie issit?) do stuff that are so obviously planned. its not call reality tv. its not really reality is it. hmmm. people tend to be not themselves in front of the camera. i realise.
hmmm. everyone seems to be thinking about their future. and life after o's. mine's planned already. i wonder what i do now.. i cant plan anything. hmm. is that good? hmmm.
i love pancakes. hotcakes. haha. whatever. the macs one.. haha. and hashbrowns with maple syrup.. yummm. (: i miss macdonalds.
okay. have to go. ): ta..
a shout of praise.
11:12 PM
haha. today was inkwell. went school for like the entire day. :S so tired. and sleepy. haha. came home to sleep after inkwell. couldnt go church. i think shun's angry with me (are you?) .. he hung up on me when i said i wasnt allowed to go for band prac. ... :( its not my fault.. oh well. at least i managed to switch it to tmr morning.. sigh.
claire taught me this new song. its really nice.. (:
is the rain falling from the sky
keeping you from singing
is that tear falling from your eye
because the wind is stinging
dont you fret now child
dont you worry
the rain's to help you grow
so dont try to hurry
the storm along
the hard times makes you strong
dont you know the seed would never grow
if there were never showers
and though the rain might bring a little pain
just look at all the flowers
i know how long the day can seem
when the storm cloud hide his face
and when the rain dissolves your dreams
just remember his amazing grace
dont you know the sun is always there
even when the rains fall
dont you know the son will always care
when he hears your voice call
wahhh. when i heard it i almost cried. this song's so true in my life. dunno how many of you agree..i guess god puts us all through difficulties for a reason. to make us stronger for the bigger problems that may surface in life.. i dunno whats gonna happen.. but he does. so all we have to do is to remember that god's always there for us. he knows our troubles. so. yeah.
anyways. there's church again tmr.. looking forward to playing for uncle al's service.. and YES! i get to use the new keys tmr.. :D thats what uncle al says. the NEW CUSTOMISED keyboard's HERE! (supposedly.. they always say that. -.-") haha. yeah..
jiaen: hey.. thanks for everything.. yupp. also really enjoyed studying with you guys today.. (: heh. wahh. we must do this more.. haha. yupp. can help each other.. chinese jia jia! must help me k? and i'll help you with maths.. heh. okayokay? (: yeah. haha.
a shout of praise.
9:21 PM
hmm. after i wrote that entry, alot of things happened to me.. we (abi, mey, me, cla) were doing class chapel preparation for next week.. we decided that what we wanted the theme to be was like. what our focus really should be. is it the o's? or is it really god? claire said if we have god, everything will fall in place. how true is that in my life? i cant seem to put god first in everything i do.. no matter how hard i try. we chose the bible passage on how jesus calmed the storm.. in the same way. jesus will calm THE storm in our lives. but what really spoke out to me in the passage was. "you of little faith". some how, that phrase just keeps repeating in my head after claire read it.. somehow. i find that my faith in god is slowly diminishing everyday. its really upsetting when you actually think about it. but you never seem to realise it when you are in the midst of doing it. understand where i'm coming from? someone said god put us thru trials and difficulties cos god wants to test us. he's got a big plan for us. but i dont see it. i guess all i can do is to trust. and obey and listen. its not gonna be easy. especially with what's happened.
oh goodness. today was most hilarious at the swim meet. haha. guess what! i came in 4th for 100m free. yay. so happy. haha. then for 200m.. OH MY GOODNESS. KEZIAH KHOO! haha. i dont believe what we did. haha. so so so so ultimately stoopid, even my toes are laughing. haha. actually, every one's toes at the swim meet were laughing at what we did. haha. (X haha. IT WAS SO CRAZY LA! haha. when the horn blew, we paused for like 3 secs before plunging. haha. everyone else had started swimming already. haha. then we still standing on the blocks. haha. goodness. then we swam so so so snaily. haha. wahh. keziah swam so super slow that i cant even swim as slow as her. haha. so impossible. HAHA. then we came in last together. haha. actually i came in before her la.. but whats the diff. haha. we couldnt care.. everyone else were like swimmers cept for the 2 of us.. haha. even if we swim hard we still get last anyway, haha. so dont care la. (: well. it really was the last chance for us to do something stupid. hah. like how jasmine ran with an umbrella last yr during track. HAHA. thats was so.. omg. got no words to describe liao.. haha
then my church community night at highgate. haha. oh my gosh. the places we're going for camp. (: so happy.. evangel rawks!! wahh. some very pretty and high class golf resort in johor (cant rmb the name) with a really beeg pool. and all the suites are like. HUGE. GINORMOUS. wahhh. so cool. haha. anyone interested? only 120 for 4 days 3 nights.. cheap cheap cheap! haha. its under subsidy by church thats why. (X and mission trip's in nov.. to cambodia again. ahah. its after o's.. so i can go.. wheee. haha. then.. youth camp.. haha. in m'sia also.. to mawai.. some eco camp thingy. sound kinda.. interesting. haha. bet got lotsa mozzies.. ):
yeah. so thats about it. its a long day tmr.. inkwell.. gahhs. got to go for band prac at night too.. ): so i'd better sleep soon.. yupp.. taa then..
a shout of praise.
1:11 AM
goodness. its friday already.. how fast time flies.. another week just over like that.. i dunno.. i'[ve been feeling quite funny all weekk.. ever since i saw my english results.. i dunno whats wrong with me. how can i fail? i'm like living in a daze. i'm really scared of how badly i'll get scolded.. and how idsappointed everyone will be in me.. even i'm disappointed in myself. really really disappointed.
i seem to stone even more now adays. i can walk to the fridge and leave the door open while i stand there staring.. then after a few mins i wonder what i'm doing.. then close the door again. then when i study.. i dont know what's gone into my head or not.. i just seem to look up from my tbk and stone for a while before looking back at it.. i guess it'll be good for me to start going back to kap to study.. at least i have frens there to remind me to concentrate. yeah. i need that alot now.
claire says to refocus back on god.. ask god to straighten out my life for me.. but its so hard. whenever i ask that.. i will somehow seem to fall away again.. then come back.. then go away..its just a vicious cycle. and i really really dont want it that way. i want an organised life.. to be happy and pleased with myself. not disappointed and looking down on myself. whats really wrong with? i feel so depressed and out of sorts lately.. i've been feeling this alot.. but superficially. i guess not huh? i always seem alright.. i dunno.. i kinda realised this after stoning so much. heh. its weird.
i dont want attention. i wanna be left alone for now. just sticking around my close frens. to talk only if i need to. study for the sake of my own good. to please god and my family. to rewake from this stone age. i dont wanna say much anymore. i'm underconstruction. yeah.
a shout of praise.
11:35 AM
oh man. the ex sec 4s got their results back yesterday.. the results weren't that good. i'm starting to wonder what will happen next year. will i be crying with happiness or sadness. but wait. i wont even be here to get my results. by jan i'll be gone.. thats the last you would see of me. so. esp to certain pple. you wont see me anymore. wont you feel happy?
hmm. all i can think about is what's gonna happen after o's. i'm gonna go work with drew. haha. and danielle. but i think she wants to go and work at gucci maybe with joel. : haha. how fun can that be man. i'm gonna enjoy whatever time i have left. like.. 2 months? yeah, probably. go party and work.. maybe a t a fun place.. like sentosa. haha. (: yes nicholas! put in a good word for me! ;) hahah. dunno la. oh well. BUT. o's more impt now. every single tcher's stressing us today. saying cos of the not so good o's results.. the pressure's on us to do well. yeah. like.. okay. i dunno
anyway. the entire ac body (including all pri to jc..) is gonna be at the indoor stadium for some service.. its their founder's day. >.< why cant mg have the same founder's day too. i dont want school either. not fair. grrrr.
okay. free period's almost up. heh. better go do whatever else i gotta do first. so.. yeah. need to go. (: ta.
a shout of praise.
11:45 AM
